First off, I apologize for my extreme distance lately. My personal life had a few interruptions. Actually, that’s not true. My life had a lot of interruptions all at once. Of course, they are private and will not be discussed, except for one that I feel passionate about discussing with a large group of people. The thousands (CRAZY!) of comments and emails that I’ve received from you lovely readers expressing concern have been mind blowing and shocking. I honestly can’t believe how many incognito fans of bikinis + sugar there are. Where are you guys hiding..? Its truly humbling and has made me realize that this blog has been more of a success than I was credited for, although it took myself and others awhile to realize it. (I still have 2,783 comments to read still. I apologize if it takes me awhile to get to yours.)
So, I know you’re wondering what the life interruption I’m willing to talk about in a public space is. Its a topic that we don’t like thinking about or discussing at a young age. The Big C. Yes–I’m referring to Cancer. Recently I was diagnosed with skin Cancer on my scalp. I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, whatever. No big deal.” Well, actually it is a big deal. Having a doctor jocularly ask you if you’re 55 years-old, when you’re actually only 25 years-old, is not something you want to be asked, nor is being told that you’re one of his youngest patients he’s ever had with skin Cancer.
Getting that life-changing phone call from a doctor with such news, getting needles poked into your head over and over again, getting your hair and scalp cut and scraped out, or having to tell your parents that the Big C is now apart of your life is something I never wish upon anyone. Its painful and extremely traumatizing. We’re all aware of how dangerous tanning booths are and how powerful the sun is, but we never think something like this could happen to us. Well, it does and it will happen to you if you don’t take care of yourself. I’m aware I won’t die from this, but there are strict life changes I need to make in order for my condition to not progress and get worse. Clothing, sun exposure, and outdoor activities will require more thought and planning, which doesn’t sound like a big deal. Living in California, where its always sunny and you’re always outside — YEAH sorry, that is going to be very different and difficult for me. Always needing to wear a hat (hat hair…sounds fun), always applying sunscreen everywhere in the morning, making sure you’re in the shade when possible, applying sunscreen on your scalp and having your hair become gross and oily, not being able to sit in the sun and soak up the rays, not being able to just float in the pool and relax…These are just a few things that will need immediate adjustments, along with treatment that will start next week.
Honestly, I really don’t want to hear anyone say “It could be worse” one more time. Do you know why? Besides it being completely inconsiderate and insensitive, I’m a firm believer that telling someone not to be distraught, sad, or worried because “someone has it worse than you” is just like saying “you can’t be happy, because someone else might have it better than you.” Logic.
I’m not writing this to receive pity. That’s the last thing I want or will even tolerate. I’ve decided to write about this topic because its REAL, and it really does HAPPEN. And, it can happen when you’re young and least expect it! We need to take care of our bodies and treat them how they deserve to be treated. In hindsight, I’m upset with myself for the amount of time I spent in tanning booths and the amount of sun exposure I carelessly soaked in. Is having a tan for two days worth Cancer? No.
Secondly, you might have thought this blog was over–I’ll admit, I considered the worthiness of it myself. However, if you know me, you know I’m not a quitter and that life “setbacks” always have a way of making me more driven. I’m back. And, bikinis + sugar will be better than ever. Mark. My. Word.
As I already mentioned, your comments and concerns meant so much to me and were purely inspiring and motivating. I’m still in awe!! I do want to come forth and let everyone know that I will not be posting photos of myself in bikinis anymore. This is a personal decision. Bikinis will still be featured though, I promise!
Lastly, never let anyone dull your sparkle. You are special and beautiful. Always smile and be happy, no matter what life throws at you because, trust me, something is always going to be thrown at you even if you think the storm has passed. It hasn’t. Rejoice in the fact that you’re becoming stronger and that you’re on His path, don’t become that negative person you resent. Smile through the good and the bad. Its okay to be a glowstick; sometimes we need to break before we shine. And, be an optimist!! Be the person who believes that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, its more like a cha-cha.
Always remember that a bad attitude can literally block love, blessings, and destiny from finding you. Don’t be the reason you don’t succeed. We all forget this in times of trouble or hardships, including myself. A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder. When we wake up, we need to take a second to think about what a priviledge it is to simply be alive and healthy. The moment we start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one.
I’m going to start ending each blog post with a quote, something inspiring, motivating, silly, or thought-provoking.
“We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, but very good judges for the mistakes of others.”
So….How can a fashion-driven California girl “survive” skin cancer with such fashion limitations? Oh, you’ll see.
P.S. On behalf of bikinis + sugar, I have started a new project that I CANNOT wait to share with everyone. Check back in to see what Kristine and I have going on!